A Women Who Loved Well
By Karen Kier
“Well, here I am…how is everyone? Sure is cold out there tonight. Brrr…..we ain’t never had nights like this when I was growing up in Georgia. Why’s it got to be so cold up here in the north? I ain’t complainin’ though. I got my sons, my grandkids and all of you. It is so good to see you. How can I help? What’ll we do? Draw? Make holiday decorations? Oh now, come on…turn off that noise box and let’s do something fun.”
She removed her red quilted jacket, as she spoke to no one in particular, and put on a big wool plaid sweater she pulled from the Price Rite grocery bag she carried. Her brown faux leather ankle boots came off next, revealing mismatched socks worn at the toe and heal. On came a pair of dirty, worn, beige, coffee stained, Dearfoam slippers. She was a visitor and I was visiting too. Her presence both filled the space with a commanding loudness and calmed it at that same time.
“Are you a family member?” I asked.
“Oh no, I’m a volunteer. I come here every week just to help out the fellas. I’ve been coming here for years. Staff are okay, but people need people. Don’t get me wrong. The state does what it can, but paid staff people come and go. These gentlemen might not speak or be able to dress themselves, but they know L-O-V-E and that only comes from people who care enough to get in the messy of their lives. Oh, I get paid in a way...I have God’s love with me and that’s all I need. My Lord and Savior, he’s sooooo good. I’m working for Him. Started over 20 years ago after my husband died. I had to get out and do somethin’ or I was gonna cave right inside on myself.
“I was the first foster grandparent in the program that started with the state while folks were still livin’ in that horrible institution up on the hill. I’ve been visitin’ people ever since. We gotta all take care of each other no matter what happens in life. You’re young, probably working round the clock to get food on the table for your little ones. You got little ones? Oh, they are a blessing. The day will come though when they’re all grown and today they don’t stick around like they used to. That’ll be your day, you can go out and do what you do for others. You’ll have the time. If you don’t, your energy will get all sucked into your aches and pains, doctor appointments, and game show watchin’ after early suppers of crackers with peanut butter and canned beans. Live for our Savior and not yourself. That’ll get you into Heaven. And in the meantime, you’ll make an awful lot of people feel loved."
We only met that one time. I remembered her as soon as I saw her picture in the paper. The obituary read that at 103 years old she lived through two pandemics and had continued to volunteer right up until the beginning of COVID in March 2020. Despite all the health scares, she still talked about getting back to volunteering as soon as she could. Her grandson reports she died peacefully of natural causes surrounded by her family.